


Phil VS The Furry Ball of Hate

by dont-tell-them-i-write-phan (QueenBoudicatheGreat)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angry Cat, Fluff, M/M, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 13:52:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13272795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBoudicatheGreat/pseuds/dont-tell-them-i-write-phan
Summary: Everyone knows that pet owners take their pets’ opinions on people very seriously. Dan’s cat hates Phil. Obviously, Phil needs to fix this.





	Phil VS The Furry Ball of Hate

**Author's Note:**

> Posted to Tumblr on 3/6/15

Phil took a deep breath and prepared himself to on the door.He and Dan had been dating for about two weeks, so there wasn’t really a reason for him to be nervous, right? But in those two weeks they had always gone out, this would be his first time being in Dan’s apartment. This would be their first time actually being alone together. This was a much bigger deal than anything they’d done before. Everything had to go right. What if he was an awful guest and Dan decided he didn’t want anything to do with him? What if-

“Phil?”

Phil was yanked out of his spiraling thoughts to see Dan standing in his open doorway a smile on his lips and in his eyes and the ever present dusting of pink on his cheeks. “Are you going to come in?” he asked. “Or we can just stand here all night, if you want.”

Phil blushed and coughed self-consciously into his hand. “Inside honestly sounds much better.”

Dan laughed happily and stepped aside to let him in. “I’m an awful cook, so I was just going to order a pizza, if that’s okay with you,” Dan warned, as he led them to the lounge.

Phil’s eyes were immediately drawn to the cat stretched out in the corner. It wasn’t exactly the world’s prettiest cat; it was a brown tabby and obnoxiously large. It had a flat face with a turned up nose and its ears were too big for its head and the left one flopped over like it was too tired to bother with standing up anymore. Phil was in love.

“That’s Arya,” Dan grinned as Phil approached, careful not to wake her. When he was close enough, he slowly reached out a hand and gently put it to her fur. Immediately she arched her back and her purring grew so loud that Phil was sure Dan could hear it from across the room. As Phil continued to pet her she lazily blinked open her eyes and Phil noticed that one was a bright bottle green and the other one was a soft amber. When her gaze focused on Phil’s smiling face she stiffened.

And then everything went to hell.

With an almighty yowl, Arya wrenched herself away from Phil and darted to Dan’s feet. Confused, Phil warily stood up and approached them, but as soon as he got too close Arya arched her back, puffed out every hair on her body and hissed like a demon, still wound tightly around Dan’s ankles.

“Arya!” Dan scolded. He reached down to pick her up and added, “Don’t be mean to Phil. He’s our guest tonight.” He gestured for Phil to come closer but Arya growled (actually  _growled_. Phil didn’t know cats  _could_  growl) and flailed her extended claws in the general direction of Phil’s face. “That’s it! You’re going to stay in the office tonight!” Dan exclaimed before walking away with Arya over his shoulder.

Those green and amber eyes never left Phil’s once.

_______________

“So, would you like to come over again tonight?” Dan asked over the phone a week later. “I promise I’ll actually cook something.”

Phil chuckled. “Sure, but you might want to have Arya put up before I get there; I’m pretty sure she hates me.”

“Well, you know what they say,” Dan teased. “Pets are always a better judge of character. Should I be suspicious of you, Philip?” Dan laughed at his own joke before quickly adding, “See you later!” and hanging up.

Phil was frozen, pale faced in the middle of Tesco’s. “See you,” he muttered to the dial tone.

_______________

“Phil?” Dan asked opening his door that Sunday morning. Well, it was one o’clock in the afternoon, but the knocking on the door had woken him. Sue him. “What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you,”

“Nobody expects me!” Phil grinned. “And is it so bad that I want to spend the afternoon with my boyfriend?”

“Uh, no, I guess?” Dan said, blushing easily at Phil’s flippant use of the word boyfriend. “Let me go get dressed and we can do something, I guess?”

“Quit guessing and just do,” Phil teased. “And you don’t have to get dressed if you don’t want to.”

Dan blushed deeper cursing his rosacea again. “Just go sit in the lounge, you spoon.”

Phil flashed him a bright grin before going to do as he was told. Dan chuckled to himself as he went to his room. Looking down he blushed  _again_ after noticing that he was wearing his Pokémon sleep pants. Anxious not to leave Phil alone for too long, he yanked on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt he kept clean at all times for emergencies.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he wandered back into the lounge to see a poorly cleaned up line of treats from where Arya was curled into a hissing ball of hate and fur to where Phil was sat leaning back against the sofa. “Hey, I didn’t know your hair was curly!” Phil beamed.

Dan’s hands flew to his hair. “Oh my god, you weren’t supposed to see my Hobbit hair!”

“Aw, why not? It’s adorable!”

“No, it’s awful,” Dan pouted.

Phil put up his hands in defeat. “Okay, okay. No more mentions of the Hobbit hair. I’ll just sit here and pretend your hair is straight.”

“Thank you,” Dan sniffed, feeling silly but unable to resist playing along.

Phil laughed and gestured to the spot next to him. “So, I remember you talking about how you wanted to watch American Horror Story and a friend of mine has the first three seasons on DVD, so I was thinking we could binge? I brought snacks?”

“Sounds perfect,” Dan grinned, joining him on the floor so he could curl into his side properly. “Did you get me Malteasers?”

“Is my name Phil Lester?”

“You’re the best,” Dan cooed, taking the red box from the older man as Phil started up the first episode.

Dan pretended not to notice the fresh scratch marks on Phil’s hands.

_______________

Phil sighed and rubbed his forehead. His battle to make Arya fall in love with him and thus earn Dan’s love in return was going poorly. It had been three months and he was running out of both ideas and antiseptic. He knocked on the door.

Almost a full minute of Phil worrying that Dan wasn’t home the door opened to the most pitiful sight Phil had seen in a long time.

Dan was standing there with a pale face and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders blinking sleepily at him. His hair was a curly mess, his sparkling brown eyes were dull and watery, and the light pink flush Phil loved so much was dark and blotchy. “Sorry, Phil, but I think you’re gonna have to go home,” he croaked. “I’m really sick.”

“I can see that!” Phil exclaimed, cupping his feverish cheeks. “But I’m not going anywhere. You must be crazy if you think I’m going to leave you here with you like this. Come on, let’s get you in bed.”

Dan made a weak noise of protest as Phil led him by the hand back to his room. “You don’t have to do this,” he argued. “It’s not like I’ve never been sick on my own before. I’ll be fine.”

“I know you’d be fine,” Phil said as he tucked Dan back into bed. “But you’ve got me now and if I’ve got anything to say about it you’ll never have to go through anything alone ever again.” He leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to Dan’s burning forehead. “Do you have any soup? I’ll go make you some.”

“Can you just stay instead?” Dan asked weakly. “I’m not hungry right now; I just want to sleep for a year.”

Phil’s heart melted again. God he was head over heels for this man. “Of course, love,” he said, crawling into bed next to him. “But you do have to eat, okay? After this nap we’re gonna eat.”

“Promise,” Dan yawned, burying his face in Phil’s chest. “But sleep now.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth Dan was out.

Phil smiled gently and ran his fingers through the messy curls beneath his hand. There was a long, loud  _squeeeeeeaaaaak_  and Phil looked up in time to see Arya land back on all four paws after standing to push open the door. Blue met green and amber and a silent staring match took place. Arya glanced down at where Phil had his arms around Dan’s waist and her eyes narrowed. Phil scowled and gently tightened his hold, causing Dan to huff in his sleep. Phil refused to be threatened off by a cat. Not today, not when Dan needed him.

Arya glared for another moment before the unthinkable happened. With a running leap, she launched herself up onto the bed. With Phil. Making sure her long tail swatted Phil in the face, she hopped over Dan to curl tight against his back, careful not to touch Phil’s hand or arm in any way.

Sure, it wasn’t fixed, but this was definitely progress.

_______________

“Phiiiiillll,” Dan whined around his arm full of Christmas decorations. They had been together for almost a year now and they were hosting their first party in their shared flat.

“But Arya has me trapped!” Phil protested playfully, gesturing to the cat who dominated his entire lap.

“Too bad,” Dan laughed, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Go away, Arya.” She then yawned widely, arched her back, rubbed against Phil and hopped down before trotting away. “I swear she likes you more than she likes me,” Dan chuckled.

“That’s because she does. I like her more, too. I’m sorry, Dan, we’re running away together. I wasn’t sure how to tell you.”

Dan laughed and dumped his decorations in Phil’s lap. “That’s nice. Now go hang tinsel.”

Phil grinned and stood, kissed Dan’s cheek and wandered off to do as he was ordered.

An hour later their cozy apartment was packed full to the bursting and Dan and Phil were crammed on their loveseat, playfully shoving hors d'oeuvres in each other’s faces. Suddenly, there was a fierce yowl and a dark brown streak darted into the room and Phil found himself with a lap full of hissing cat.

“Holy shit, is Arya in Phil’s lap?” PJ gaped, staring at the black haired man.

“Yup!” Dan said proudly. “She really likes him.”

PJ snorted. “Dan in all the years I’ve known you that cat has only liked one person and that’s you.”

“Wait, what?” Phil asked, cocking his brow. “Arya hates everyone? I thought it was just me.”

Dan shook his head. “Nope, Arya is just a furry ball of rage. I’m still shocked every time she allows you in the same room as her.”

“So you mean I  _didn’t_  have to make her like me?”

“Uh, no?” Dan said, bewildered. “Why would you think that?”

“You said!” Phil exclaimed. “You said that pets are better judges of character! I thought for sure you were going to break up with me if I didn’t get her to like me!”

Dan’s heart flipped over in his chest about a dozen times. “Are you telling me that you suffered through months of bites and scratches to make my cat like you just so I wouldn’t break up with you?”

“Yes!”

“You are the world’s biggest spoon!” Dan laughed, throwing his arms around Phil’s shoulders. “Phil, it wouldn’t matter if Arya was the nicest cat ever and loved everyone but you. Believe it or not, I don’t let my temperamental cat decide how much I love you.”

“When you say it out loud it sounds kind of silly,” Phil grinned sheepishly.

Dan laughed and Arya purred.


End file.
